Ex
by aira-chan
Summary: Four months after losing his Shinigami powers Ichigo has come face to face with a fear that is slowly consuming him; is he only a shell of what he used to be? Life seems so empty and without purpose. Can he find a way to fix things?
1. Crimson

**Ex**

**A bleach fan-fiction.**

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**Warning!**

**This FanFiction is rated M for a reason. No there is no sex **(yet)**, but there is something more sensitive. If you are offended by self mutilation do not read this Fiction for it will be a commonly occurring matter for most of the story.**

**Disclaimer!**

**I do not own Bleach, you all know this. If I did I'd be rich and wouldn't have to worry about school.  
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Ex. What did that word mean? Why did it have to cause him so much pain? His tanned hand found its way to the foggy mirror; he pulled his water wrinkled hand across the glass and locked his warm chocolate hues on the reflection. His youthful face was radiating with signs of fatigue. His eyes were sunken in and dark rings enclosed around them. How had this happened? His eyes trailed away from the sight of his reflection, it was just too hard to look at himself now.

'_If you use this technique you will lose all of your shinigami powers.'_ Those words still rang in his ears like the scream of pain that had crawled from his vocal cords when the powers had been ripped from him.

He hadn't thought his actions through at the pique of battle. He hadn't actually understood just how painful the transaction would be. His hand weakly grasped the knob of the door and clicked the lock. A stifled whimper escaped his lips as he made his way back over to the sink. These past four months, seven days, twenty-two hours and twelve seconds had been more than he could take. The voices in his head had stopped whispering sweet nothings to him, and that was what had finally pushed his depression over the edge. It had been one thing to loose all of his friends because of his lack of spiritual energy, but when the voices had stopped he had realized just how alone he was without them. It wasn't one of those things you could just ignore. Living the majority of your teenage years with a homicidal hollow, an angsty teen, and an old man constantly whispering things to you only to have them ripped away in an instant was just something that was practically impossible to get over.

Ichigo's hand reached out with uncertainty and grabbed onto the handle of the sink's cabinet. He pulled the creamy white door open and pulled out a small box. It had been a while since he had used the contents of this box, but he was just at a point to where he couldn't take it anymore! He missed that feeling to much, missed the delicious sting, the cold artificial object against his skin making him feel like he was more than just a spirit wafting through the motions of daily life, more than a mere shadow of what he used to be. He ripped off the lid of the cardboard box and tossed it to the side. His warm chocolate eyes locked onto the small item in the box, it seemed so out of place . . . It was so small to be in such a large box. His warm eyes froze over as a sharp sting of pain welled up in them; he reached into the box and pulled out two photos. The one was of him and all of his friends from the soul society along with his friends from school, they looked pretty happy and they were all smiling, all except from Toshirio, he looked a tad bit annoyed, but when didn't he? A weak smile tugged at his lips but it soon fell when his eyes glanced past the photo in his hands and down to the one still sitting in the box. There were only three people in this photo, it was actually pretty recent. Ichigo was standing in the middle, his hollow to his left and Tensa at his right. For some reason they were all smiling, The strawberry teen couldn't remember why they had even taken the picture. He brought his free hand up to his face and wiped the tears away from his eyes. He couldn't help it anymore, he was tired of trying to be so tough when he knew that he couldn't do it alone! He kicked his feet out and slammed his converse into the porcelain tub he kicked until he could feel the hard substance crack, his tears blurred his vision and he wiped them away fiercely, not even caring if the eyeliner under his eyes smeared. He quickly pulled his knees up to his chest and looked down at the photo once again, he held it tight staring intently into the plastic memory as if his stare could pull the beings out of the small photo. He blinked the new forming tears away and grabbed the photo with both hands flipping it over. On the back of the photo a few words were written.

_'__我々はあなたが一護を決して忘れません__' _

Ichigo stared at the words until he let his gaze drift down to the small piece of metal tapped to the back just below the letters. Below that the words '_To forget is to die._' was written in bold marker. The few words on this photo made the teen's heart leap forward, he smiled weakly as he ripped the razor from the back of the photo. He blinked slowly as he let his eyes rake over the sterling metal, the blade looked so sharp that Ichigo could have sworn that he could have cut himself just by staring at it. His heartbeat slowed down and he clutched the metal between his fingers, he had never done this before and he didn't think that he would ever find himself in this position but he just couldn't take it anymore and this seemed to be the only way he could convince himself that he was still alive, that losing his powers had nothing to do with himself being weak. That the blood in his veins still pulsed, that his shallow breathing was actually keeping him alive, that just because he felt numb to the world and the ones around him didn't mean that he was dead. This seemed to be the only way to clear his fears. A tentative brush of the cold steel against his skin made the hairs on his arms and the back of his neck stand at full attention, this was real. . .But not real enough. With a shaky breath he pushed the thin blade against his flesh just an inch or so below his elbow. The initial feeling was that of a quick sting, like a small lighter had touched against his tanned skin. He could feel the blood rush to the surface as he quickly yanked the blade away from his skin. The red cells flooded out of his wound and dripped slowly to the white tiled flooring. Small tears ran down his cheeks as he watched the blood gradually pool on the floor until the dripping ultimately stopped. He looked to the wound on his arm and took a moment to stare at it before he placed the razor down on the tile. He stood up and grabbed a wash cloth from the cabinet and turned on the tap, the icy water soaked into the white rag with ease and when he was satisfied he turned the tap off and sat back down in the floor. He glanced back at his self inflicted wound and pushed the cold rag against it. A slow stroke of the watered down terry-cloth removed the dried and coagulated blood from his arm, reveling the fresh pink wound. It was almost cute in a way, but it still wasn't enough. The white rag was tinted a crimson color where Ichigo's fingers had been and slowly transcended to a pale pink where only a small bit of the irony substance had been captured. A small line of crimson was traced onto the rag when the strawberry teen cleaned the razor of quickly drying blood. He was upset, not stupid. Even if others looked upon just doing the act as stupid he knew that he only wanted to feel the sting so he could make sure he was still complete, not take the act so far as to kill himself. He knew that would do him no good. Death would be no escape for him, it would only cause his suffering to tenfold. Living life like this would be acceptable for now.

He quickly replaced the blade to his skin, banishing all other thoughts as he sliced through the milky underside of his arm. The blood once again raced to the surface and he felt a few tears sting his eyes. This singing feeling was oh so welcomed, so much so in fact that he turned his back to the wall and leaned against it, savoring the feeling of the substance leaving his body to pool on the floor. It burned, oh how bad it burned, like no wound he had ever felt before. It hurt worse than when Ulquiorra priced his chest with his hand, It hurt more than when he was thrown through a solid concrete building. The burn sank down to his very core and he drank in the sickly sweet feeling as its fiery blaze licked against his organs and screamed in his brain. Delicious.

A knock at the bathroom door caused his eyes to open and a quiet whisper of a voice came from behind the door.

"Ichi-nii? Are. . .are you alright? You've been in there for quite some time. ." Ichigo's heart chipped a little at the sound of Yuzu's voice. She really was too good from him, always caring about everyone not even thinking about her own needs, always putting others before her. She was too pure, too innocent. . .She didn't need to know. . No one did.

"I'm fine Usa-chan, just. . .feeling a little sick that's all. I'll be out I a few minutes." His mouth tasted bitter with deceit. Lying to his little sister always left him feeling unsure of himself and only deepened his already guilty conscious.

"Do you want me to bring you up some tea?" He worried expression was obvious in her voice and it made Ichigo's heart drop to think of what she would say if she saw his new wounds. His chocolate hues glanced down at the slowly closing wounds.

"Sure, thanks." He stood up and walked over to the sink, he turned on the cool water and let it rush over his wounded arm, it hurt. He could feel the water seeping into his skin and it felt like little needles were being stuck into his wound, how unpleasant. He pulled his arm back once the dry blood had mixed with the water and scurried down the drain, his wounds had stopped bleeding but they were red and were obviously fresh. He pulled open the cabinet once more and searched for some bandages, luckily there were plenty stacked right in front of him. He grabbed some gauze and placed it over the wounds before wrapping them with some medical bandages. It really didn't do much for the pain but at least it kept the wounds out of sight. He sighed and looked down at the small pool of blood that had accumulated on the bathroom floor, not something one should leave sitting there. He grabbed a red towel from the closet and placed it on the floor, a cup on the sink offered him an easy way to get water onto the towel without making a hug mess. He poured the warm water onto the towel and moved it around over the spill, when the majority of the crimson liquid was soaked into the towel he tossed the towel into the dirty clothes and the plain white rag he had used earlier into the waste bin.

One last glance at the room and sure enough he had gotten everything cleaned up. He bent down and tossed the pictures back into the box, he didn't even want to look at them. The one with all of his shinigami friends didn't seem to be any different when he looked at it but whenever his gaze fell upon the one with his other halves in it he always saw something different in their expressions, sometimes it was anger; anger that the teen couldn't pull himself out of this rut. Other times it was sadness; sadness that they were gone and couldn't help their strawberry. But currently it was nothing but a blood stained memory, the back of the photograph had been splashed with the few brave drops of blood that had dared stray from the pool and it just seem to fit. That was how he remembered them anyway, always strong and ready for battle, not afraid to bleed for Ichigo if he couldn't win the battle alone. The thought made him queasy and he quickly shoved the box into the closet by all of the other random boxes. He stood and held his head, why was he suddenly feeling so uneasy? A cold chill ran up his spine and he gave a faint shiver, how odd. . .

Ichigo walked down the stairs and tugged his hoodie's sleeves down in a paranoid manner, Yuzu hadn't come back up to his room and after a few minutes of sitting on his bed starring into space he had thrown on his favorite black hoodie with a little heart over where one's own should be. The little heart was bleeding and just below it standing all alone was a teddy bear with a sad look on his face and a heart-shaped hole where his own little organ should have been. It was cute in a morbid sort of way. His chocolate hues scanned the kitchen where he found his little sister minding the tea.

"Konbanwa, Ichi-nii." Her tired voice wafted through the air like a soft breeze. She followed her words with a yawn and she turned to flash him a warm, loving smile. "Are you ready for tea? It's almost done, sorry it took so long but dad and Karin wanted a cup as well."

"Oh, yes, thank you." It was obvious by her tone of voice that she was well past her limit and was more than ready to go to bed. Ichigo sent a sympathetic smile in her direction as he pillowed his arms below his chin on the table. He tried to find a comfortable way to lie his head down but he couldn't help but flinch when something would rub up against his cuts. . .Oh well, at least it let him know he was still here and not just a shell of what he used to be.

"Here you are~" A small little cup was sat down in front of his face, a gentle smell of cinnamon assaulted his senses and he smiled warmly at the small woody colored cup. Once again, Yuzu had proved to be too good for him, she knew that cinnamon tea was his favorite.

"Anata wa dōmo arigatō " Ichigo grabbed onto the cup with both hands and lifted it to his lips. It was so warm, the heat drifted past the exterior of the cup and into his hands. It was so pleasant, another shiver left his spine at the warmth that consumed his body and mind. He put his pale pink lips to the cup and took a large gulp taking nearly half the glass in one swig. The delicious taste lingered in his mouth and the warm brew leaked down to his core, a tingling feeling covered his body and he could feel sleep suddenly pull at his senses, this tea always made him sleepy. Maybe that's why he loved it so much, it always set his mind to ease.

"Goodnight Ichi-nii. Have pleasant dreams." Yuzu's voice lingered for a moment as she rushed up the stairs to her room. It was good to know that she was going to bed, it was getting late.

Ichigo swirled the liquid in his glass and watched it turn and spin like a small whirlpool, it was interesting for a split moment but the moment was lost when the urge to finish the drink overtook the teen. He downed the rest of the warm tea and sat his glass in the sink. He placed his hand onto his covered wound and rubbed them in a soothing way, even if the feeling was practically lost due to the fact that he was trying to do so through a medium layer of clothing, but it was the thought that counted anyway. He stayed like that for awhile, just staring at nothing in particular while he waited for the silence to engulf him. And it did, it devoured him and held him close, it used to be that silence was a dreaded thing because of the fact that when the silence was around it gave leeway to the voices in his head. . .But now that the voices where gone the silence was just that. Silence. Unforgiving and disgusted with who he had become. Ichigo's eyes drifted to the door and he walked over to it, locking it before he carried on his way, slowly making his way up the stairs into his room. It was late and even if he hated it he still had school in the morning so for now he would give into the tug of sleep at his eyes and fall into a dreamless sleep.

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**key:**

_我々はあなたが一護を決して忘れません - We'll never forget you, Ichigo_

_Anata wa dōmo arigatō - Thank you very much_

_'-Nii' - Refers to a brother_

_Konbanwa - Good evening_

_Usa- Bunny_

_'-chan' - refers to something cute or sweet, usually used at the end of girls names or in some cases small animals and young boys_

**Well, here I am again.** This was inspired by the latest chapters and I've been meaning to get this off my chest sooner but I've had crap to do. Let me know what you think.

**Love it? Hate it? want to throw it into a blender then burn it alive? Review and let me know your feelings! Constructive criticism is welcomed! :3**

Sorry it's so short, Just wanted to get it out to know what you think!


	2. Memories

**Ex**

**A bleach fanFiction.**

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**Warning! Morbid scenes and mild language.**

**Disclaimer! I do not own bleach, obviously!**

Yo, back again, Second chapter up in two days! that's pretty good for me. Sorry they're so short, I haven't really though of a full body to the story yet, it's just sort of coming together as I go along. I forgot to mention in the last chapter that this is a slight AU fic, simply because until Tite Kubo figures out a way to give Ichigo his powers back I'm stuck winging it D;

No cutting in this chapter but please do not be offended if you see it, you were warned already and flames really don't make me feel good. :|

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It was dark. So cold and dark. Was that water dripping? Ichigo blinked a few times trying to get his vision to return to him but nothing came into view, it was still dark. What was that! He flinched and held his hand close to his chest, something wet and slimy had just slithered across his skin and it was highly unpleasant. He brought his other hand up to his face and began to feel at his face, the reason for his blindness was soon apparent, he was blindfolded. But why? He tugged at the blindfold and immediately wished that he hadn't. He was standing in the midst of nothing. His feet where firmly planted to a rope that seemed to go on forever in either direction. What was this place? He blinked slowly as he tried to take in the surrounding area, it was so. . Nostalgic. Like in a way he had been here before but something was different. There were clouds swirling around him and it gave him a sense of weightlessness and for a moment he believed that if he fell he would just float into the clouds. So that's just what he did, he took a step from the rope but the moment he did the clouds when from white to black the sky whet from a peaceful blue to a sickening bloody red. He wasn't floating, he was falling, plummeting. He looked down to see what was below him and he saw a sea, a beautiful teal sea it looked warm and welcoming but the closer he came the darker the edges of his vision became and slowly red began to trickle into the beautiful teal color. It mixed until the waters looked black he tried to scream but nothing came out. His voice had fallen silent. The sudden impact didn't hurt at all, it felt more like he was being enveloped in velvet, soft, luxurious velvet. But when he opened his eyes once again he immediately shut them. The water was warm and it stung his eyes worse than chlorine. He tried to open his mouth but the liquid just rushed in and immediately he knew what this was. He was drowning, slowly being dragged down to the bottom of this never ending pit, a pit filled with warm, thick blood. Again he tried to scream but again all that came out was silence and his mouth was refilled with the copper substance. He wanted to vomit this was terrible he couldn't breathe and the feeling that he was sinking still hadn't faded even though he knew he had to have been in this dream for ages now. Tears stung his eyes and he could feel his head filling with thoughts and images from the expanse of his entire life. Was he dying? Was this really the end? He didn't know, he gave in, the invisible force pulling him further and further down until a sudden rush of air filled his lungs and he opened his eyes with a deafening cry. His cheeks were dry and flaky from tears and he quickly grabbed at his chest and held it tight breathing in deep breaths. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he blinked quickly as he tried to regain his focus. Had. . .Had that really just happened? It. .Felt so real. .

His worried eyes glanced at the alarm clock. 2:26am. Perfect. Good-bye sleep.

Ichigo jumped up at the sound of the alarm on his clock. His hand quickly making contact with the snooze button as he looked around the room then down to the little kiwi shaped clock. Eight o' clock! Shit! He was so late! This was so not good!

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The loud bell rang through the halls, signaling that time was up, class was staring. Ichigo looked from left to right, the halls seemed to be empty but he knew they weren't, he had accidentally slept in and he just knew he was going to get caught, he could feel it. Even so he made a mad dash for the class room bolting down the hallways until the door was in sight he could almost feel the cold metal in his hand when he felt his movements halt and a jolt pulsed through him as he was yanked back by the collar of his shirt.

"And just where do you think you're going young man?" Shit, damn gym teacher. Ichigo's eyes fell upon the tall muscular male and he couldn't help but shudder, this really wouldn't end well.

"I'm sorry, I woke up late this morning. . ." Ichigo tried to sound as sincere as possible but it was hard to not say these words with a seer, he really wished he could just get this guy out of his face, his breath was rancid and smelled like dick, how foul. However, the strawberry teen wasn't stupid and he knew that in his current condition he wouldn't stand a chance.

"I don't want to hear that pansy ass whining, three days detention." His words were sharp and he glared at Ichigo as he released him and let him scamper away to lick his wounds. Ichigo rushed to his room and took his seat, still shaken from his earlier dream. He wasn't in the best of moods and his teacher was as dull as ever. He found his mind wandering and his hand found its way up his sleeve and to the freshly scabbed wounds. He scratched at the scab until it peeled back and blood rushed to the surface once again. Yep, still here. His gray sleeve quickly absorbed the liquid and he sighed, way to go idiot, satin your only non-ripped fall top.

"Kurosaki! What is the answer to number 12!" The teachers shrill feminine voice boomed in his thoughts and his chocolate hues lifted up quickly to see what exactly she was asking of him, it was odd really, he always had a knack for math. As he observed the equation he came to a slow realization and sat his head down on his desk but let his voice ring out loud enough for her to hear.

"It's a trick question, there is no answer when dealing with the division of pi." He didn't even bother to look at her, he could practically here the gape in her voice.

"Th-that's correct. . ." The ebony haired teacher was amazed that the strawberry teen was able to answer such an equation even though he had missed a majority of the school year due to his 'sickness.'

Ichigo inwardly sneered 'of course it is.' he could feel the minutes tugging at his mind, slowly driving him insane. It was like no matter how many times his mind tried to change the subject he just kept wandering back to those last few moments he had spent with his friends, his hollow, his zanpakto. . .He missed them all and his earlier dream really didn't help him feel any more secure about the situation.

His eyes darted up the the clock, two forty-four. . Just one more minute and he would be free for the next seventy-two hours. He chose to spend his last few minutes looking out the window staring at nothing in particular, just thinking about how empty he felt and how slowly he felt his mind slipping away from sanity. His musings didn't last long. . .

"ICHIGOOOOOO!" Kegio jumped up to glomp his friend but was deflected by a lazy arm put up in the air, Ichigo was really not in the mood for such childish things.

"What do you want?" His tone was cold and sharp, like a knife frozen in liquid nitrogen. Not pleasant at all.

"Ouch, what's with the venomous words there Ichi?" The brunette was so blissfully unaware of all of the pain that the poor teen had been through, it was almost laughable. "Well whatever, I wanted you to come with me somewhere!"

Ichigo turned his head to face his dim friend and cocked a brow at his offer.

"What kind of _somewhere_?" Usually Kegio's idea of somewhere involved a drunk party with his sister and that was never fun because then she went around with a buzz cutter and tried to give everyone a new haircut. It had taken Ichigo two months to grow that piece of hair back. . .

"Like this new club that opened up only for this month." This month currently being October Ichigo couldn't help but shudder at the idea, that only meant one thing. "It's a Halloween night club!" How. . Expected.

Ichigo's expression remained flat and he actually had half a mind to punch his friend on the spot and just leave but when Kegio saw the uninterested look on Ichigo's face the brunette knew he had to say something that would get his friend to feel better.

"There's going to be a lot of cute girls!" Obviously that didn't work. Ichigo grabbed his books and stood.

"Not interested." Ichigo rounded the corner of his desk only to be clung to by his annoying friend.

"Please Ichigooooo! It'll be sooo boring without you!" Even though Ichigo was shoving at the other male's face he still refused to let go, it seemed as though this was never going to end.

"For the love of God! If I say I'll go will you please get the hell offa me!" Ichigo all but snarled his words and just as they slid past his lips did he realize his mistake, god damnit. . . Kegio immediately let go and held his hands tight in front of him just below his chin, he looked creepy with that shit eating grin on his face.

"You'll need a costume~" The brunette's words seethed with something Ichigo didn't like the sound of. He knew that whatever it was that his friend was planning it wouldn't be good for his slowly depleting sanity.

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After a long and grueling two hours of listening to Kegio convince him to come along Ichigo finally sat his books down on his desk and agreed, there was no winning with Kegio anyway. Ichigo walked over to his closet and looked through his clothes as Kegio mad himself at home on the ex-shinigami's bed. Of the large mass of clothes that Ichigo possessed he had a hell of a time trying to pick out what he wanted to wear. He sifted through row and row of pants and shits, hoodies and tank tops, shorts and capris. .It seemed like he would never find an outfit. That is until he stumbled upon the back of his oversized closet and a small smile tugged at his lips. He grabbed the outfit and quickly walked to the bathroom adjacent to his room, leaving Kegio all alone was not ideal but it had to be done for the moment.

As the Strawberry teen shut the door he sat his clothes down on the sink and looked up at his reflection in the mirror. He looked terrible. The dark areas around his eyes had darkened and his hair was a total mess. He gave a tentative sigh and reached down, grabbing his shirt by the hem and gingerly lifted it up being careful of his hurt arm. It was a vaguely easy task but he was still feeling the welcomed singe of the wounds. Once that task was complete he went about wiggling his way out of his school pants. Also a vaguely easy task, once all clothing was pooled in the floor he reached for the shirt on the sink, he lifted it above his head slipping his arms in before pulling it over. The pants came next, then the belt, socks, shoes and last but not least the strawberry teen decided that If he already looked the scruffy emo stereotype then he should just play along with it. He leaned in close to the mirror and pulled the eyeliner from the case of make-up Rukia had left behind, why she had left it Ichigo would never know but since it was there it was a shame to let it go to waste. After he was content with the heavy eyeliner he set to work on his hair, he stuck his fingers into the Axe hair gel he had sitting out on his counter. He spiked up his hair more than usual then turned to open the door.

His hand stuck to the knob and he paused and his chocolate eyes drifted to the closet where his box was stashed. He wanted to go over to it and stare into the contents for hours but. . .Something stronger beckoned him. He turned his gaze away from the direction of the box and opened the door only to be met with a pair of wide brown eyes.

"Ich-Ichigo? Wh-. . .what are you wearing?" Kegio put a hand to his mouth to contain his laughter. But the look Ichigo shot him shut him up quick.

"You told me to wear something interesting and eye-catching!" Ichigo tried to defend himself but somewhere deep inside he knew that this particular outfit was not what he had had in mind. His outfit bordered on the outrageous. His top, black with a white sloppy heart splattered on the front was a tad too short, or maybe his pants rode to low? Either way it was cute but looked better suited for a female. Just below his partially exposed belly a pair of whitewashed denim skinnies adorned his lower half, seemingly held on only by the oversized black and pink studded belt, whose belt buckle was a large hot pink skull. A small white bow topped the skull and a single chain hung down from his right belt loop. The only real reason he had worn the belt was because it matched his shoes, although he wouldn't admit it. His shoes where a pair of converse, they seemed pretty normal until one took a closer look and found that little hot pink kitties adorned the black fabric. And to top it all off his hair was spiked up in a teased manner and a small black choker adorned his neck.

Personally Ichigo though that he looked pretty damn good, so screw what Kegio said!

"I said Interesting and eye-catching not Fagatron." The brunette couldn't help the fit of giggles that bubbled past his lips and clung to the air. It was really odd seeing the usually stoic teen just bust out with something like that, Kegio wasn't even aware that Ichigo owned clothes like that!

"Hey! Qeerbo! You wanna get hit?" Ichigo spat his words at his bimbo friend who in turn covered his mouth to stop the annoying sounds.

"Alright, alright, cool your jets there. I was going to suggest that we go costume shopping but-" Kegio's words were broken up by giggles and held in laughs it was obvious to Ichigo what he was going to say and he was frankly sick of these jokes, he was allowed to wear just whatever the hell he wanted! Not to mention that this did not look faggy in the least!

"Don't go there if you want to keep the possibility of having children." Had he been any more serious death itself would have stopped to look at him. Kegio again tried to stop his laughter and for the time being seemed to contain it.

"Alright. . .Lets just go." Kegio bit his lip to stop himself, his cheeks were flushed with the withheld laughs and he had to pinch himself so as not to loose his cool when Ichigo stormed out and he saw just how tight the pants were. Not faggy? Someone was in denial,

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Upon entering the building Ichigo wished that he had never agreed to come. It was dark. **Very **dark. How dark was it? The only light in the entire building was the black lights above the bar and the strobe lights and glow-sticks out in the orgy of a crowd. Kegio patted Ichigo on the shoulder and told him to have fun, he then disappeared into the crowd. It was gross really, the smell of sex and sweat were all in the air and the strawberry teen could feel the strobe light induced headache crawling up to him. Not to mention the crude choice of music. The only words he could pick up through the hard beats were; '_Got a monster in my pants, and if you ever get the chance gonna jam it down your throat watch you gasp for air and choke.' _This song may have repeated the words 'scream for my Ice-cream' but he very obviously was not singing about ice-cream. He needed a drink. . .Bad.

He turned around and made his way to the bar ignoring all of the looks he was getting whether they were good or bad he couldn't tell, not like he cared anyway, no one in this rank club could compare to the ones he used to love. . .Way to go, bring up forgotten memories why don't you? Ichigo inwardly cursed himself, his peppy attitude lost to the thoughts of the past. Now he **really** needed a drink. He pushed past the crowd at the bar and plopped down in an unoccupied seat. He put his head down on the counter and waited for someone to wait for him.

"Yo, can I help ya?" A sickly sweet voice pushed its way into Ichigo's mind and for some reason it sounded familiar but he didn't bother looking up.

"Yeah, I'll have whatever tastes best." Ichigo's weak reply just barely sounded above the bass and it was a wonder that the bar tender even heard him. It was less than three minutes when the male came back and plopped a fruity smelling drink down in front of him, this time the red-head did look up and when he did, hell froze over.

It wasn't possible. He scrubbed his eyes with his hands as if he was trying to rub a foreign object from them, when he returned his gaze to the male he couldn't help but stare. Pure white tresses trailed down past his shoulders and sharp smoky eyes stared down at the strawberry teen. His feral irises the most beautiful of any midnight moon. It had to be a trick of the light, he was dreaming, it was the liquor that he hadn't even tasted. There had to be a reason.

"Sh-Shiro?" Ichigo's voice broke the thick, awkward silence. The other male just stared at him for a moment with a look of sheer confusion plastered on his face as if he had just been confronted with a very hard question.

"Uh. . Yeah? How do you know my name?" The male crossed his arms and raised a brow in a suspicious manner. The thing that boggled his mind the most was that no one had called him that since . . . Well since he started this job and only a few people knew it. Granted he couldn't remember much aside from the last four months but when he woke up in the hospital bed the doctors told him that he had been in a terrible comma and that he might have suffered from slight amnesia. In all actuality he was lucky to have remembered his own name. "Did I go to school with you or something? You don't look very familiar."

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**:3**

**Mwhahahaha. . .Cliffhangers.**

**How will Ichigo React? What happened to poor Hichi? All these answers and more will be revealed when I feel like wrting the next chapter! :D**

**So, love it? Hate it? Want to spit in it's face and toss it to wild animals? Let me know! Reviews are always welcomed and constructive critisim is always the best! **


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